The people call you hero. I call you family

Born 27 seasons prior - Died Oddly later than expected

Bard, Kender, Chronicler of Chaos, and Reluctant Hero

Zacharo Buzzkiller, beloved (and occasionally tolerated) bard of the land of Krynn, has passed on to the next great tavern in the sky—presumably to test the patience of the gods themselves with puns so potent they may delay the next Cataclysm.

Zacharo died doing what he loved most: talking far too much in the face of danger. A proud Kender of no known fixed address or sense of personal boundaries, Zacharo spent his life collecting tales, trinkets (not stolen per a promise he never broke), and unsolicited confessions from anyone foolish enough to speak within a 10-foot radius. His life's work centered on chronicling the noble (and mildly dramatic) deeds of his companion, the mighty Varyan, and their legendary squad, Thunderstruck—a name Zacharo shouted in battle, taverns, dreams, and one unfortunate first time meeting with a wizard.

His verbal arsenal was infamous. On more than one occasion, he incapacitated enemies using only his words—most notably when he talked a hobgoblin warlord into spontaneous existential despair, leading to what scholars now refer to as “The Great Sulk of 426 AC.”

He leaves behind a legacy of laughter, therapy, and a 47-volume epic titled “Thunderstruck: The Untold Thunderier Stories (Now With More Thunder)” with a self stylized logo.

Nobody knows why.

Zacharo is survived by no immediate family, but several hundred confused ex-acquaintances, and a deeply traumatized ex-noble.

In lieu of flowers, mourners are asked to donate unmathed socks, pun insurance, or a moment of silence (lasting no more than 4 seconds—Zacharo wouldn’t have approved of longer).

Rest in chaos, Zacharo. May your jokes echo across Krynn forever… or until someone casts Silence.